Let's eat

"Children should be seen and not heard", this is the philosophy that i was raised to hold true.

I was watching a movie( K-Pax) and two families were having Bar-B-Que. The adult males were talking about their work, while the rest of their immediate family was present(children included). They were talking about matters that could be considered sensitive information; The father is a psychiatrist and his friend an astro-physicists.

Anyways, my mind started to wonder. I started thinking about if i were a child in that situation, and I wouldnt be in that situation. Children would be with children and adults with adults.

...so this lead me to start thinking " who would i be if i were allowed to sit with the adults?"

this also got me wondering if kids who got to sit at the 'adult table' were mature children, and grew up to be mature teens and what not.

scenesters the new wankstas?

I really hate labels. Jock, Prep, Republican, Democrat. However, thats how we choose to break down society. I'll ramble why i hate labels in another post.

Ive always thought myself to be a pretty creative person. Music, art, theater...anything that evoked emotion made immediate sense to me.

It wasnt until a few months ago that i realized what other people saw me as. The other day my cousins called me a hipster. I took offense to that, i really didnt want to be labeled, and not to get into a"catcher in the rye phase", but i whole-heartedly feel that people like that are posers.

Anyways, i've heard that about me a few more times, so it became weird to me that i see myself completely different than how others see me.

I've developed an owl's sleeping pattern over this winter break, so i resort to watching TV on those sleepless nights.

one of those sleepless nights i switched to MTVU and a seated girl, with fiery red hair donning a tiny yellow shirt with red vest to not match, chucks and skiny jeans graced my TV screen. I was mesmerized by her innocent presence and became excited to learn more about her.

She was advertising her show "my life as liz"...as she saw it( hmm).

my life as liz is a new MTV kinda-reality series, for the people who dont fit "the hills" mold. It's dedicated to the kids who are not rich snobs that actually have real problems to deal with.

when i first saw the commercial for this show. i was in utter shock, because of the words she used to describe herself, "mis-matched sock wearing, Indie rock wearing!, note book drawing..." i thought i found my soul-mate.


i was becoming ecstatic to watch liz and her exploits, and add it on to the only other show i watch faithfully... "Jersey Shore".

with a second glance at her promo, ive gathered that she is just a creation of the media. Another scheme made to prey on a culture.

Liz, before i got the chance to know you, you broke me heart...**tear*


not only is this show dedicated to the kids who are not rich snobs that actually have real problems to deal with, but also to the kids who are rich snobs who try to identify with the "indie/scene/hipster" lifestyle that has become oh sooo desirable.

It's not what you do, its how you do it

A friend reminded me of this quote the other day.

Ive heard many times before, but when it came from her mouth, it spoke an entirely new meaning to me.

my thoughts started roaming for the next few days, it's comes full circle now to where i can pin point my thoughts.

I thoroughly believe in individualism, and the belief that people experience everything differently.

for example; i may look at an object and see purple, where another person could look at the same object and see green. However, we both call it the same color. Im not calling this being color blind either, im calling it "a difference in perception".

Anyways back to my main thought. One word came to me after this quote i heard, "pride".

I have come to believe that pride or lack of pride, is our "drive" in life.

I started looking up quotes on pride, and i found negative quotes about it and positive ones.
Pride has a lot of negative connotations. i think of a prideful person, and i think of a big-headed egotistic maniac.

One of the more memorable quotes was "pride comes before the fall". But, is that really true?
maybe so, but i think it is where you place your pride. you can pride yourself on being neat, respectful for time, being kind or you can have pride in being the best at something; athletics, academics, or being an ass.

I think pride is mostly unattractive when you see it in competition.

As my 4 year long college career comes to a close. I've watched myself experiment with my values, and who i wanted to be. I've watched myself journey from an open -minded conservative, to a close-minded liberal.

I realize that what was lacking in my reasoning, my standing, and my beliefs was pride.
the pride i held in my religion, that molded my being. what kept me the cute, kind, jesus loving kid i used to be.

Pride is not a bad thing. It is what we stand for. it is our beliefs that we come to love in others and ourselves. it is our selfish intentions, our worth that you cannot be someone without. you cannot live a full life without it. Pride inevitably breaks down into love, so pull up them socks, let's get yourself some pride.

LUCY! im HOME!

Hello all.

I am sorry for my absence. However, this absence has not been in vain. I was busy trying to get through my first semester of my senior year...and boy did I not try. I was way too busy trying to find myself, planning foam parties, chasing tail, getting over ex- lovers, boozing and singing to my hearts content (drunk and sober).

I did do a lot of firsts , and seconds HA!...but that's for later or maybe never.

I've all of a sudden become infatuated with the thought of being a musician. Idk if that will work out. Im starting to think that i dont have a good voice.

After quitting ciarettes and trying not to drink and curse anymore, i think my voice is getting bad. Maybe i gave up my chemical X.


Next semester is approaching at a rapid rate, and im a little frightened to "start my adult life". My fun cannot be over this fast...whatevs, i'll try to deal.

this break has been pretty cool though. ive been getting trashed a lot. I can finally see the fun in drinking until the lights become blurry. Its fun when your with people you trust.

i did one thing, that was horrendously regrettable, but ooo so funny; after getting dropped off from an amazing adventure that night, my mouth automatically opened and i spewed mickey-d's special sauce all over my driveway. it was like a drunken dance of me gracefully trying to not get it on my clothes, while still walking and still yakking (it was nothing a little snow couldn't cover).

New york has been our destination for partying and wondering the streets and subways aimlessly.

there are some strange characters out in the early AM of the magical city we call New York.

I tell you, i would love to buy a flat and live there. This slow-paced, jersey suburban life is not for me. However, i still am not sure what is for me...but it def. aint here.

New years was particularly fun. We partied in Brooklyn, the best place ever. I hung out with my bff(mo), my long lost bff(mae), my cousins, and some crazy ass people from all over this country.

No details tonight-just major facts.

apparently im a light weight drinkger now after this crazy detox diet i went on after school ended: raw oats, soymilk, nutmeg, vanilla extract and brown sugar (tastes like success). Now im on this Hindu diet where i eat really hot foods(burns going in and burns going out).

well i was a mess, i hooked up with 1 girl, and then kissed up with another girl right infront of her. bad deal, i think i like the girl i kissed first. i wasnt very suave about it either, but the setting was nice (brooklyn rooftop alone, with fireworks in the background) and that awkward mood of "do it already" set in.

sadly i dont remember if it was well received and i dont think thats a question you can ask a chick...whatevs.

i DJ-ed that night. yes, i was the tool who plugged in my I-pod without permission and rocked out to indie/ 80's ballads, that however was well received.

this typing thing is becoming too much...so im going to subsize all this.

we went to a pizza joint. i spoke to 3 underage girls that they shouldnt be this late out( they were 14, it was 3am)

tried to get a cab to head to another party, none stopped for us.

walked to the subway. waited there forever, took pictures, laughed a lot, and smashed wine bottles we finished and stole from the last party.

on the train, i decided to pass around this bottle O vodka that wound up in my hand to all these diseased strangers. all this while starting a mini-riot on that L train, i have never influenced that many strangers in my life to yell, sing, swing and stomp as hard as they did that night. we had the train swaying from all the feet pounding, it was a beautiful drunken mess.

made some friends got into a mini dance off with an angry, tiny-gay asian man i thought was a woman for the longest time.

by this time, i dont know how i did it. but i was able to walk...this is where the black out occurs. when i start to black out, (which has happened twice to me in my short life) i become very mean...and boy do i say some nasty things. apparently i tried to fight 4 strangers that night because one spoke about Jamaica...do i remember this no, but the people i was with stories are the same so i guess i have to believe it.

it was a colorfully fun night, with many new and exciting occurrences. I didnt die and learned many lessons ( the next morning of course).

Life is becoming an adventure again.

In need of a change of scene...

Jackson set to play vampire in Twilight series

With the King of pop's demise, it is pretty much impossible to surf the web without seeing the latest controversy surrounding his death.

I like to look at yahoo and view what is most searched( really cool feature). It was Micheal's baby mama, Debbie Rowe.

Looking at different pictures I came across this one, and WOAH-nelly!

Seriously this dude would have made such a good vampire. With the creepy child's voice, incredibly pale skin, blood red lips, and high cheek bones( let's be honest, he did have pretty good bone structure).

Scariest looking vampire, im sure.

TV rots your brain :O!

I recently discovered that I have an Indie channel, and a sundance channel. This is awesome! but also responsible for the mushiness of my behind.

One movie I saw which I thought was kind of appropriate for me was, Im through with White Girls. I have a history of having jungle fever-Why you ask? IDK!

In the movie our wonderful protagonist, meets a girl who isn't cursed with vampric paleness.

I went through the same "curse" as the protagonist( both our "dark females"also had dreads).

Anywho, it was humorous, and it didn't have that lame over-the-top black humor that most "black films" have (which I think might possibly be true, but it doesn't capture all black folk accurately).

Tastefully done, plus I'm all for the support of indie filmmakers. This is a keeper.


Happy Viewing!